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Whose grounds these are, I think I know

His home is in the North Pole though

He will not mind me traipsing here

To watch his students learn and grow

Some other folk might stop and sneer

“Two turtle doves, this man did rear?”

I'll find the birds, come push or shove

Objectives given: I'll soon clear

Upon discov'ring each white dove,

The subject of much campus love,

I find the challenges are more

Than one can count on woolen glove.

Who wandered thus through closet door?

Ho ho, what's this? What strange boudoir!

Things here cannot be what they seem

That portal's more than clothing store.

Who enters contests by the ream

And lives in tunnels meant for steam?

This Krampus bloke seems rather strange

And yet I must now join his team…

Despite this fellow's funk and mange

My fate, I think, he's bound to change.

What is this contest all about?

His victory I shall arrange!

To arms, my friends! Do scream and shout!

Some villain targets Santa's route!

What scum - what filth would seek to end

Kris Kringle's journey while he's out?

Surprised, I am, but “shock” may tend

To overstate and condescend.

'Tis little more than plot reveal

That fairies often do extend

And yet, despite her jealous zeal,

My skills did win, my hacking heal!

No dental dealer can so keep

Our red-clad hero in ordeal!

This Christmas must now fall asleep,

But next year comes, and troubles creep.

And Jack Frost hasn't made a peep,

And Jack Frost hasn't made a peep…