Whose grounds these are, I think I know
His home is in the North Pole though
He will not mind me traipsing here
To watch his students learn and grow
Some other folk might stop and sneer
“Two turtle doves, this man did rear?”
I'll find the birds, come push or shove
Objectives given: I'll soon clear
Upon discov'ring each white dove,
The subject of much campus love,
I find the challenges are more
Than one can count on woolen glove.
Who wandered thus through closet door?
Ho ho, what's this? What strange boudoir!
Things here cannot be what they seem
That portal's more than clothing store.
Who enters contests by the ream
And lives in tunnels meant for steam?
This Krampus bloke seems rather strange
And yet I must now join his team…
Despite this fellow's funk and mange
My fate, I think, he's bound to change.
What is this contest all about?
His victory I shall arrange!
To arms, my friends! Do scream and shout!
Some villain targets Santa's route!
What scum - what filth would seek to end
Kris Kringle's journey while he's out?
Surprised, I am, but “shock” may tend
To overstate and condescend.
'Tis little more than plot reveal
That fairies often do extend
And yet, despite her jealous zeal,
My skills did win, my hacking heal!
No dental dealer can so keep
Our red-clad hero in ordeal!
This Christmas must now fall asleep,
But next year comes, and troubles creep.
And Jack Frost hasn't made a peep,
And Jack Frost hasn't made a peep…